So Much For My Happy Ending
by blackatt
Summary: Arthur thinks about his life and the one he use to have. Modern AU. A/M Slash, warning for attempted suicide


**Title: So Much For My Happy Ending  
Author: Blackatt  
Pairings: (mentions of) A/G, A/M  
Warnings: Slash, deals with atempted suicide  
A/N: ok, this is darker than i usually write so please don't hesitate to tell me what you think about it if you think it's good, bad or i should just stop writting now, anything would help thanks. Oh and again a big thank you to anyone who has reveiwed/alerted another one of my stories. On with the show!**

What happened to him? He use to be happy, he use to love his life now he settled for content and making life bearable. Not to mention all he could think of was the past.

The past. Ahh, he can see it now, staying in with Merlin watching T.V or movies they knew all the lines to, or even just talking to each other. Now he was out with Gwen every night, going to see Morganna or Lance or out to dinner or dancing. Why did he put up with it? Because he didn't want to be alone. What happened to Merlin I hear you say? He was forced to leave him.

Yes, forced. He loved Merlin with all his heart, still did, but he was set up and forced to leave him. His father and Gwen planned it, he had been at a dinner with them and Morganna, both of them rolling their eyes constantly at their father and the woman they were supposed to be friends with. He had a drink but only one, thinking about it now there had to have been something in it because one drink shouldn't have slowed down his reactions that much, so when Gwen kissed him in front of Morganna and his father (who conveniently had a camera) he couldn't push her off him right away. Merlin would leave him if he thought that Arthur had been cheating on him so rather than have Merlin completely hate him he gave into his father and Gwen's demands and left him.

To say it was the worst mistake he ever made would be an understatement. He had no choice but to know that he had deliberately hurt the one person in the whole world who could break his heart hurt worse than the stiletto Morganna threw at him. She knew what happened but they had blackmailed her too so she couldn't tell Merlin, all she could do was try to be there for Merlin and convince him that Arthur really did love him. She updated him on how Merlin was every week when they had Sunday brunch, a little tradition of theirs. He was glad of it now, it's the only relief that he gets from his dull, dreary life with that god-damned harpy.

He and Morganna would go into town and have brunch in a quaint little cafe and talk about everything. Mostly Merlin. But everything they could think of was talked about. Morganna was still in touch with Merlin, still trying to convince him that Arthur didn't want to leave him, they had their own little meetings that she refuses to tell him what they talk about. Morganna talked about her new beau Leon and asked, constantly, about how he was able to live with such a bitch. He told her the truth, he couldn't. He didn't want to but what was the alternative? Live alone in a life of misery without Merlin? He was doing that now.

With that thought he took another swig of the whiskey he was drinking, he had already drank half the bottle and the thoughts were creeping in. The thoughts he always got when he drank whiskey and thought about his life, or even just thought about his life. If you could call it that. Living with a woman he hated, truly, deeply hated, because of his homophobic father couldn't accept he was gay. The highlight of his week was an hour of talking to his sister about how happy she was and the man who used to make him happy.

Oh, hello thoughts nice to see you again. Sometimes he supposes that if he were to give into the thoughts that things would be much better. He could be with his mother again and he wouldn't have to live a life that he didn't want. But, for now, he wasn't drunk enough to be entertaining thoughts like that so giving up with the glass he took a long drink from the bottle. After doing that a couple of more times he wasn't in the living room of a flat he shared with the devil he was back in his and Merlin's apartment. He was hanging up the decorations with Merlin the week before Christmas, cooking dinner for Merlin, remembering all the whispers of 'I love you' into the darkness.

Why was he doing this to himself? He knew he couldn't be with Merlin anymore, that he would have to put up with his life now because that was all he was going to get. But he couldn't stop the memories from coming, all the times Merlin would just look at him as if to say 'how am I so lucky?', all the times that Merlin would smile at him lighting up the whole room. He had to stop. This was doing nothing. He needed to do something.

Getting up he walked into the bathroom with his bottle of whiskey. Looking into the mirror he didn't recognise himself, he had well styled hair kept in immaculate condition, his reflection's looked like it hadn't been touched in months, he was always clean-shaven, his reflection had a scruffy beard. This wasn't him. This was never going to be him. He had to stop pretending.

Taking his phone out of his pocket he sent one last text to the person that was keeping him tied to this life. "Tell him I'm sorry". Not much of a giveaway he text Morganna. Then opening the cupboard door he pulled out his razor. The last thing he remembers in his delirious state from blood lost was drawing a heart on the floor beside him with the letters 'A' and 'M' at either side.

It was touch and go when they found him, he coded twice on the way to the hospital but they pulled him back. The first thing he seen when he woke up was Merlin on one side of him and Morganna on the other, the second was Merlin's fist coming towards him. Ouch, he forgot how hard Merlin hit. Before he got time to recover from being punch Merlin kissed him and promptly burst into tears. That woke up Morganna, who also decided he needed hit and slapped him before tearing up and telling him that 'if he ever done anything so stupid again that she would kill him'.

His attention was diverted away from the threat however when the door burst open. Gwen marched up to him and proceeded to try and stick her tongue down his throat but was stopped when he pushed her away and Morganna slapped her. Things only got worse when his father decided that that was a good time to show up. Not happy at Morganna slapping Gwen he demanded that she apologised, to which she told him where to go and that she and Arthur were no longer his children, if he tried to talk to them again or even contact them that she would do very cruel things to a certain part of him that should never have those things done to.

As you can imagine this did not go over well, Gwen and his father protested loudly at being thrown from their lives but were silenced when Morganna roared at them that "they should have thought about that before they blackmailed him into giving up the best thing in his life and made him try to take his life!".

Unfortunately for her, or rather fortunately depending on how you thought of it, she forgot Merlin was in the room and still didn't know about the blackmail. After five minutes of explaining to Merlin what happened he got another kiss and a "you prat! I would have understood if you had've told me!". His father, not pleased with this looked like he was going to gag and got a punch to the nose for his troubles. Gwen gasped bringing attention to her, Merlin walked up to her and said "you are lucky that my mother raised me not to hit woman, but I swear to god if you ever try to do anything like this again, if you ever try to talk to any of us again I may forget that and show you just what happens when you mess with the people I love".

Needless to say, his father and Gwen ran from the hospital and were never heard from again. He and Merlin got back together, they took it slow and waited a couple of months before deciding to move back in together. He was made to go and see a therapist to work through his issues, had things not gone the way they had Morganna would have cracked a joke about it finally being time for him to seek help. Her and Leon moved in together the day after he was put in the hospital realising how precious love was and how lucky they were to have each other. Leon popped the question last week and they were planning to get married in Gretna Green. As for him, he had the ring, he had the man, now all he needed was to ask.


End file.
